My personal tax plan: If the federal government doesn’t have to balance its budget, why should I?

To: Uncle Sam:

From: Terry

Subject: My personal tax payment plan inspired by the federal budget deficit

Got this idea and befuddled why I didn’t think of it before.

I got an extension on my 2017 taxes, not due to any problem … just been busy. I’ll be wrapping them up soon.

Honest.

I think I’ll owe a little more than I withheld and would like to know if you’d loan me the money.

I think I’ll owe a little more than I withheld and would like to know if you’d loan me the money.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve got the money to pay the taxes, but I need some other things I’d rather get:

  •  A sport coat or two I’ve had my eye on.
  • A summer suit.
  • Some office furniture.
  • Paying for one of those services that archives your photos and old VHS tapes.
  • A kayak.
  • Helping a daughter’s friend who’s doing missionary work overseas.
  • Adding more movie channels to my TV provider.
  • A trip to Scotland to play golf and maybe sample some distillery product.

That should do it.

Anyway, if this is OK, could we make it an annual thing?

Could we make this an annual thing?

I could just build up something we could call, let’s see, a deficit?

And if you don’t think this just the best thing since the Texas Tech men’s basketball team made the NCAA Tournament Elite Eight, let me tell you where I got the idea.

You and all your pals in the federal government.

Y’all have turned it into an art form.

How do you get away with it?

How do you get away with it?

And why can’t I run a deficit if you do?

I know Federal Folks will say it’s for things the country needs. We need to take care of people who are less fortunate. We must have a federal Department of Education because us ignorant folks in Lubbock can’t be trusted to run our schools by ourselves because we may allow curriculum that would not pass muster on the East Coast.

Speaking of the East Coast, I used to spend more time in Washington, D.C. I would drive around town, see all the federal government buildings and wonder “do we really need all these people doing all these things?”

No … and I can only imagine Jefferson and the other Founding Fathers walking around D.C. and telling each other: “This isn’t how we drew it up, right?”

So if you can’t balance the federal budget, why should I have to balance mine?

So if you can’t balance the federal budget, why should I have to balance mine?

I’ll send an invoice for how much I need once I get my taxes done.

I’ll try and be reasonable but I need stuff, too.

Thanks in advance.

God Bless America.