An open letter to Crayola: One stay-at-home-mom’s thoughts

Dear Crayola:

On behalf of myself and all parents of small children, thank you for making nontoxic, washable art products. Your invention is outmatched only by your foresight.

It’s like you knew my son Henry, age 1, would walk into the house one day last month eating a stick of sidewalk chalk as if it were a popsicle, a ring of bright blue powder around his mouth.

Perhaps you psychically envisioned the day when my toddlers, ages 3 and 4 at the time, redecorated our home. Crayons in hand, they moved as one, leaving a trail of colorful lines and loops throughout the hallway, the foyer and the home office … all in the time it took me to change the baby’s diaper. The resulting masterpiece, which my toddlers displayed with great pride, took several days to clean up. But clean up, it did. And for that, I owe you, Crayola.

Also, as a matter of interest, I’d like to let you know of a little experiment recently held in our household. Thanks to the efforts of Henry (he’s a big fan of y’all’s), we now have significant information to offer you, viz: what happens when a crayon goes through a full cycle in the dishwasher.

I figured out afterwards Henry must have put a yellow crayon in the silverware caddy while I was loading the machine. The result, after the steaming-hot water had melted the wax which then mixed with the soap, was a foamy mound of fluorescent, chartreuse ooze all over the appliance and dishes. For a moment, I was sure a radioactive science experiment gone wrong had come to life in the sewers. It took four more cycles to get that wax off those dishes.

So you see, Crayola, I am grateful. While many other companies assume children will not eat/wash/wear/throw their products, you know better.

You get kids.

You get my life.

Thank you.


CC: The Elmer’s School Glue people